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THE INSIDE STORY

It was 20th March 2012. I may consider that day as the worst day of my life. I had just entered my office after completing a few errands. It was around 5.30pm, time for sunset. Since the summer season had arrived, I felt like savoring an ice-cream and that was a grave mistake I made. YES! You heard me right. ICE CREAM is a mistake not because I am dieting but the fact that it has caused me to suffer from Gall Stones. I presently have tiny, really cute 6.5mm stones in my gall bladder and since they are stones with calcium content, I so have to avoid intake of calcium and that includes dairy products and many vegetables.

It’s not that I consumed lot of dairy products when I was young which is why I am blessed with these precious stones, rather it completely depends upon your lifestyle, eating habits and heredity. My father had kidney stones. I wish I was like my mother when it comes to eating habits. My father likes anything and everything in this world and so do I (well except non-vegetarian items).

So lets get back to 20th March. I have ice cream and suddenly the pain starts in my stomach. If any of you ever had stones, you would know how painful it can be. I run out of my office to vomit as almost every time that was the only solution to get rid of the pain. I puke and my stomach was empty by now but in spite of that there was no sign of the pain stopping. I have no energy left. Somehow I gather a little strength and rush into the room to take my medicines. I have the complete course of medicines but still there is no relief. I am sweating profusely.

I can’t stand the pain anymore, so I sit on a chair and try to remember every God on this planet and pray.

That was for the first time in my life of 24yrs when I felt “I AM GOING TO DIE”. I was scared not of the thought of death. Rather, anxiety crept inside me, fearing for the well being of my mother. Who is going to look after my mother when I am gone? Who will inform her that her daughter has breathed her last breath? How will she react? Yes, all such questions were running through my mind. I was continuously and fervently praying, “God, please  save me this time;, I will never repeat my mistake”. But the pain just didn’t go away. When more than half hour had passed, I felt that it was time to call someone for help. I really don’t have a big friend circle here in Nagpur. One of my friends was out of station and the remaining two friends had their phone switched off.

After an hour, the pain subsided. The medicines worked. Now the reason of occurrence of this pain is as follows:

If something wrong is consumed, during bile secretion one of the stones is thrown and it sticks in the neck of gall bladder and the pain starts making the body bloated. Until the stone is back in the balloon- structure gall bladder, the pain remains. The first attack happened in 2008. I was in Delhi during that time. Whenever the pain occurred, my landlady said “naal chadhi hai”. I blindly believed what she said and made another mistake of never visiting a doctor. I must have faced that excruciating pain more than 50 times in the last four years.

I hereby accept that I used to be very careless about my health but owing to the several bitter experience, I have now changed. I learnt the my lesson of my life on January 17, 2012 when the pain remained for three days and finally I went in for a sonography. I was always over confident about my upbringing. I always thought that the good diet that included pure ghee, milk, curd, salad, spinach  would keep me safe and nothing could ever happen to me. Every morning we had herbal tea that included tulsi (basil leaves), haldi (turmeric), adrak (ginger) and kali mirch(black pepper). Eating neem leaves every second day was like a part of our diet.

After getting the report I thought of consulting an ayurvedic doctor that was associated with a group called Patanjali Yogpith. {As per the group, regular course of 4-6 months is required with proper diet}.  Since then, I am taking the proper course of action. I am only allowed to eat bottle gourd (lauki) and fenugreek (methi). I do eat some other vegetables but in very less quantity. To ignore everything at one go is bit difficult. As said by many, this has turned out to be ‘blessing in disguise’ for me. I am asked to loose weight for this and so far I have been able to lose five kg in one month ( chuckles 😉 ).

The reason for writing and sharing this post is to make everyone aware that they should not ignore their health. I made many mistakes. Maybe when I was in pain for the first time, I had only one stone and with time it grew. The second mistake was listening to someone other than a doctor. It was my health and should have taken some serious steps by visiting a doctor. She was not a doctor and I should have understood that. It’s not her fault. In India everyone has a habit of giving free advice. If your health gives you even one signal, act on it. Visit a doctor; don’t wait for any one’s advice; don’t make assumptions. It is very important to stay healthy, eat healthy not to impress any one but for your self. Youngsters are more prone to diseases these days due to the polluted environment.

I am improving. Hope you will also take care of your health. And if you are already doing it then you are best person on the earth. LOVE YOURSELF 🙂

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Does beauty breed inferiority complex?

This article is written by my very good friend Meenakshi Vanvari. She is an HR in a reputed organization. This is her first article.

I saw a poll line on a blog which read like Does beauty breed inferiority complex?? And it let me to think which resulted in the following article hope you guys like my first attempt
Well I feel the answer is we women breed it, have been breeding it for years and though men say it’s a part of our DNA women are predisposed to be jealous, envious, insecure and to go further bitchy and even further as they say especially in a typical scenario in Indian household where they put it as “two women can’t run one kitchen”
Well I totally disagree it’s not a Part of our DNA!! Just to make it clear we don’t hate each other. It’s the society and preconceived notions, images and conditioning a girl goes through from the day she is born. Beauty and ever evolving definitions of it makes way for inferiority complex. A year or so back I was reading an article on How to dress up for weekend in a popular magazine. The entire article spread was based on how to dress when you are with your female friends and how to when your with your boyfriend/husband or prospective love interest. Contrary to what I would have imagined the look when you are with a guy was less makeup and not made-up whereas the look with the girls was more fashion forward red lipstick, sequined clothing for same kind of place. It occurred to me it’s quite true most guys don’t like a caked up look. Does a guy really care about the fact that you haven’t touched up your lipstick maybe that you have flabby arms. Julia Roberts remarks in the movie Eat Pray Love when her friend refuses to eat a piece of the pizza in Italy because she has a muffin top (place that’s serves the best pizza in the world) “every man would feel that he’s won the lottery if he’s in the room with a naked women “. The truth is guys don’t care about weight, makeup, perfect hair its actually you fellow women that we dress or starve for to be able to fit in the latest Zara or Mango top. What does a guy know if you put on 2 kgs here or there? The very fact who is prettier, fairer and skinner starts in teenage years and has become bigger trouble than atom bombs. Pardon me but Girls we are the bombs we all are really every single of us we are distinct, special we just choose to ignore it but why does this mental psychosis happen ….
I personally strongly feel We just as a nation need better role models in the limelight .Few years back I was watching Oprah when we use to get reruns on star world and Nivea was having some campaign about embracing one’s own self and mostly all real in fact some extremely obese women were shortlisted and were part of their Advertising TV and print campaigns.
This is at the time when obesity was at its peak in America they were realizing how unhealthy they are as a nation Nivea’s active marketing team gets into action and hits the jackpot .
To come close to home I see first ever Nivea AD with an Indian actress Anushka Sharma in tiniest possible shorts and barely there top with her Flat stomach showing spaghetti top looking irresistible to touch like a fantasy don’t get me wrong I love Anushka and love tiny clothes but this is what we want look at this is what we want to see as a nation Skinny, fair and fantasy and advertisers sell us that – A fantasy ; the guy in the AD is all over her it’s a lotion for women we personally have no interest as women I mean hormonal interest in looking at a women’s body .This is what they show us coz this is what we all our aspiring for fair & skinny. From here on starts a debate of aspiration beauty in a young girls impressionist mind if you are a part of the norm I mean fair skinny great otherwise starts the age old mental debate am I pretty enough??Am I smart enough??and there stems competitiveness amongst women if you are good at studies or some extracurricular activities in your life is easy or else there is this constant mental analysis that starts from teenage years and goes maybe till post 30’s when we have become more settled with ourselves and our own needs and this brings me to my point. We as women our pre conditioned wired so badly it’s amazing how much we are ready to conform to stereotypes in terms of beauty even though we have come of age. A friend in advertising once told me if you want to know the real era one should look at cinema of those times. When I see movies like No one killed Jessica ,Dirty picture ,Fashion my mind thinks is this really coming of age for us coz we definitely are adopting a stronger role in the society as women who are beautiful and strong minded but in the bargain we have also started conforming or becoming too demeaning to ourselves to fit in the world in terms of beauty .
Look at our new age actresses Nargis Fakhri. I strongly think the girl can’t act to save her life she is a prop in a beautiful movie, now Katrina Kaif she has been raved about for Rajneeti. Give me a break guys I think Sonia Gandhi puts up a better act than her in real life just coz our actresses have to be again fair & skinny. Katrina had a full figure she was remarked that she put on some kilos post boom and some fashion magazine critiqued her badly. Her new physic is an answer to that now precisely why loose weight for a magazine .Movies I get it your paid for it that’s your job look pretty with a team around you Kudos !! but when you again loose extra kilos for an item number to shake your belly what kind of message due you send to youngsters crash diet for the New Years party .Katrina has British genes how many of us are half Indians we are predisposed to gain fat on our stomach I am not saying don’t work on it but be smart about it your daily choices decide how you look maybe your big boned now another thing you will see every second girl in Delhi with Blonde streaks in her hair coz the hair stylist told them you will look fairer. Why can’t be just the way we are enjoy it embrace it Kate Winslet openly said her pictures were Photoshopped she is not as thin for how long will have celebrities who at least accept there so obvious surgeries leave alone Photoshop. Coming back to us less mortals why conform to fit in a jeans size or size small. My close friend never buys a top or a dress if the tag says large she will leave the top but won’t buy bcoz its says large on the Tag but why do that when we can have our cake and eat it too Fashion and beauty is too enjoy and not be confined don’t victimize yourself look good for your own self feel like a queen .We women often complain that female bosses are bitchy I agree I have always worked with them and they are & but can be equally compassionate. Why not work on your relationship when yourself is your own self critic, work on knowing your strengths and weakness know yourself feed yourself with total love care. You decide what is fashion for yourself Kate moss brought back skinny jeans coz it suits her tall frame well .You wear bootleg cause if it suits you are your own fashion model . Don’t let fashion brands dictate your style create your look all divas do that from iconic Marilyn Monroe to Beyoncé they work with what they got .Celebrate individuality be your person the day you start doing it you won’t be as judgmental to yourself or the girl in the mall with a muffin top or jiggle thighs coz she has had her cake, pizza, chocolate and enjoying it too .The day we start accepting our bodies the world will have few less bitchy women and no room to breed inferiority complex.

2011 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,300 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 22 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

This story revolves around a company. She joined that company and enjoyed her training period, also known as ‘honeymoon period’ in many companies. Now it was time for her to join a team and start working seriously under someone’s guidance. There she saw him. He had selected her. This essay could get quite confusing if I continue to use the pronouns ‘he’ and ‘she’. So, let’s give our characters names. We’ll call the girl Crystal, which was the name she used as her alias for her process, and the guy Shawn, her TL (Team leader). Candidates were selected by the TL from the training room after knowing their performance and capability. Shawn selected Crystal because she excelled in the exams that were conducted for the process.

When the trainer informed her that she was in Shawn’s team, she was dissatisfied. Almost like every girl, even she imagined and hoped for her TL to be a hunk. Unfortunately for her, Shawn was a slim, slender guy with negligible muscles. On hearing the news of whom her TL would be, she reacted by saying, “kyaaa wo mera TL hai” unaware that he (her TL) was standing behind her. ‘SHITTT!’ she thought. He patted on her shoulder and said, “Yes, I am your TL. Come with me we need to finish some formalities and I’ll introduce you to my team”. The team introduction was quite pleasant, as opposed to the way the two of them were introduced to each other. In her wildest dreams, never did she think that she would ever fall in love for him.

Shawn disliked girls. No, he was not a gay but generally that was his nature. He did not mingle with the team members and especially the girls of the team. Crystal understood this about Shawn. An incident brought this fact about Shawn’s nature to light. Crystal had inadvertently kept her purse on his desk and Shawn got utterly irritated by this. He immediately ordered her to pick up her purse and added, “I don’t like girls’ stuff on my desk.”

Since Crystal was new to this industry, it was Shawn’s responsibility to be by her side during the calls that she made. He was to monitor them regularly and thereafter give his feedback. Shawn realized that Crystal was not opening up and was quite scared of him, which is why he started giving her feedback on a one-on-one basis. As Crystal had some family issues which always kept her confused, and disturbed, it may have affected her work as well.

Even though Crystal never liked slender guys, at some point in time she started taking a liking Shawn. On his birthday she gifted him a T-shirt on behalf of her team. She waited for the day when he would wear it and come to office. But it never happened. Shawn had a lot of attitude, and was very proud of his achievement. At the age of 25 he had purchased his car, he owned a house and lots of property in Delhi. Moreover, he was a TL in a reputed company.
Shawn’s only wish was to grab the 1st position in that process, which never happened and this fact came to be known by everyone in his team. Crystal tried every possible way to help his team get to first position. She worked dedicatedly without taking any leaves, working extra hours and even ended up doing shifts for three consecutive days. It was here where she learnt to take the wrong path and she only learnt it from her room partner. She didn’t know the consequences of her wrongful actions as she was at that immature age of 21. In order to know what wrong path she chose it’s important to know a little about the process that she was in.

Executives would take the incoming calls of customers from America. The customers in turn were asked about the experience they had in the call. This was a survey conducted to evaluate each and every team member. Since agents were aware of the password for their emails ids, they filled that survey by opening their email accounts. This was taking placing for quite a while in the company. Crystal was unaware of this until her colleague did the very thing in front of her and thereafter explained to her the entire process. Unaware of the consequences, Crystal also star doing the same. The survey was known as MSI (Member satisfaction index). Soon, thanks to the survey, Shawn reached the 1st position in the TL ranking.  Crystal was the first person with whom Shawn shared this wonderful news.  
The company somehow realized this illegal activity happening in the process. They traced the IP address of the surveys filled. This was how they got to know that the surveys were filled in India. Those who were caught were immediately terminated from company. Crystal too was one of the many that were asked to leave the company. The manager called her and questioned her. She spoke the truth. On hearing Crystal’s statement, the manager said, “I won’t terminate you, but you have to give in your resignation.” Shawn, who trusted Crystal so much, was shocked. He was unable to believe it that Crystal could partake in such illegal activity. Just a few days back, he had celebrated her birthday and had made her a TL for a few hours while he was away buying cake for her. The man who never even spent a single penny on himself, bought a chocolate cake for her worth Rs. 500, much to everyone’s surprise.

On the day that Crystal resigned, Shawn had taken leave. The next day when he got to know about her resignation, he called her roommate to find out about her. He spoke to Crystal for a while, his last words being, “Now I can never trust anybody.” He disconnected the call. Crystal was torn apart. She knew she did wrong; she had broken the trust of someone whom she loved a lot. She apologised a lot but it was of no use. This happened in the year 2008 and till date Crystal is still waiting for Shawn’s call saying that that he had have forgiven her. Not even one day has passed when this crime of hers has not made her feel guilty.

I know Crystal personally and I have hidden the real names for the purpose of confidentiality. She wanted me to write her story on her behalf and apologise to Shawn through the blogging platform.  I am not sure if Shawn would ever read this, but Shawn if you ever get the chance to read it, please just once call her or sms her saying that you have forgiven her. She is still living in that guilt. She never misses the chance of wishing you on your birthday or any occasion and you always reply “Whose number is this”? It’s just a matter of forgiveness. Her path was wrong but not her intension.

Silky, silky bal hai mere ho halla hoo

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair – Khalil Gibran.

Hair is the richest ornament of a woman, a very wise saying by Martin Luther. I personally feel hair is the most beautiful asset of a woman. When a woman steps out of her bathroom after having a relaxing bath, with water dripping down from her tresses, she looks stunningly appealing to the opposite sex even without any makeup. Earlier women with long hair were considered to be cultured. But now the norms have changed though it took time. It’s a personal choice about what hairstyle an individual wants. In fact women with short hair are considered to be more confident, successful and extrovert. I can relate my view with two best examples: Indira Gandhi and Indira Nooyi.  So I can say that hairstyle shows more of your personality.  But there is something unique about long hair that is the reason almost every  female cartoon character like Princess Jasmine in Aladdin, Ariel in The Little Mermaid are shown with long, compact tresses, even our Barbie dolls are shown with long, silky pony tails.

This is my school picture when I was in 2nd Std. Check me out-bottom row, third from the right.

Since childhood my mother has been guiding me on the importance of long hair. She is my inspiration for keeping long hair and at the later part of this article you will come to understand the reason behind this statement. I am very possessive about my hair and madly love it. I play with it just as a kid plays with his/her favourite toy.

Since ancient times, long hair has been considered as an essential part of women. But somehow now the world has become materialistic. It’s a world of shortcut. Natural products have been replaced by chemicals. But an exception is always there. For me my mother is the best example. She has maintained her long, lustrous locks without using any chemical products. Mehendi, curd and shikakai soap are the primary products that she uses till this date.

I would like to dedicate these lines for her longgggggg locks:

मनमोहक यह रूप निराला

मन निश्छल और निर्मल वेष

काली घटा छा जाये नभ में

बिखेर दो यदि तुम अपने केश

My inspiration

Being a homemaker, my mother was able to maintain her hair within those 4 walls but in today’s generation where the woman is working outside the home as well, it becomes a mammoth task to maintain long hair. Stress, work pressure, studies and pollution – these are the main obstacles. I won’t say it is easy to maintain long hair but yes products like Dove can really help you. Also if one can include Yoga and Pranayam in their daily routine it would add special  effects.                                                                                                                                               

                               I would like to share some of my wow moments:

It immensely makes me happy when people compliment me for my long hair but when people admire my mother for her long hair, it makes me proud.

I have been through tough days when it was very difficult to maintain my hair especially during my board examinations. During that time the volume of my hair was decreasing and people were continuously urging me to have a haircut. However, I was resolute on keeping it the way it was-long and lustrous. I have seen this misconception in many people. When you have split ends, everyone would suggest you to go for hair cut. I understand that split end hair looks weird but hair is not growing from that end. Hair grows from the roots and if that is not getting proper nutrition it would damage your hair. Trimming is important but that is not the solution. Leading a busy lifestyle has destroyed our life. Now neither the school girls nor their mothers feel like keeping long hair of their children. Now, usually young girls keep their hair as short as possible to save themselves from making plaits. I still remember my school when almost every girl use to have rolled plaits and specially Saturday it was mandatory to tie a white ribbon.                                                                                                                                                                 I would like to share our tried and tested ways of nourishing hair naturally and keeping them healthy:

10 ka DUM:

1)      Brush your hair gently; use a wide-toothed comb instead of a brush to gently remove the knots. Eat well and do not take any drugs since hair retains traces of the drugs you take.

2)      Never shampoo your hair every day; that would strip your hair of its natural oils.

3)      Smoking is also injurious to your hair because the smell usually stays long after you light up a cigarette.

4)      For soft and silky hair, boil coconut oil with curry leaves juices, basil, hibiscus flower and gooseberry. Apply on hair and wash them.

5)      Mix a little vinegar in warm water and rinse your hair with this solution; this will add bounce to dull and lifeless hair.

6)      For strong, silky, shining and dark black hair, deep conditioning with sour curd, beer and egg is a good option.

7)      Soak fenugreek seeds (methi ke dane). Make a fine paste of it and apply on your hair for 30-45 minutes. Regular use would help you to get rid of dandruff completely.

8)      Take adequate Vitamin D (morning sunlight) and your hair will become healthy and lustrous. Our indoor activities keeps us away from sunlight, the main source of Vitamin D while other factors like improper diet and eating junk foods results in deficiency of Vitamin D, which eventually causes hair loss.

9)      Make a powder of dried awla, reetha and sheekakai. Use in the ratio 1: ½: 1. For example: If you are buying 1kg awla then take ½ kg reetha and 1 kg shikakai. Once in a week wash your hair with this mixture. The quantity should depend upon the length of your hair.

10)   Take proper proteins, iron and minerals naturally in your diet.

Colouring hair, hair straighteners, using hair dryers can be very harmful if used for a long time. Instead of that after washing hair we should always stand for 10 minutes under morning sunlight to dry them.

Most important: MASSAGE or CHAMPI, yes this is the best way to boost in your hair’s natural growth rate. Just use the tips of your finger and run them on your scalp. No matter how busy you are, indulge in this activity once a week and it will do wonders for your hair. Not only it helps you to get long hair but also relieves you from stress.

Dove Moment:

When the courier boy dropped the packet of dove gift hamper, I was surprised. I was curious to know what was exactly inside it. When I opened it and saw the transparent golden bag with those cute golden beads, I felt as if someone had given me the diamond crown of Miss Universe. I kept looking at it. Free gifts always excites

Dove is the name of a beautiful pigeon of the genus Columba. Dove products are exactly like that pigeon, soft and gentle. It gives full justice to the name. I have never used the combination of dove products. I had an amazing experience after using the dove shampoo and conditioner. Once I applied the conditioner lather and washed it, my hair went so silky that it was impossible for me to roll them up which I usually do. Later I applied Vita oil Serum, even after driving for 6 kms with open hair it made no difference. I had the same lustre and texture which I experience after using curd and egg. I strongly feel that people like me who wish to have long hair but cannot dedicate lot of time use Dove products as an alternate.  Thanks to Dove my hair still retains that essence of natural products.

As we nourish our child and in return they love you, same way we should love our hair and they would compliment us, and our personality.

This article is for a contest, Love is a two way street: Love your hair and it loves you back!, sponsored by Dove & IndiBlogger, directory of Indian blogs.

Love your hair and they will love you back

‘If I could, I would…’

I am thrilled to share my thoughts and feelings with our readers on the above topic. For me, it is extremely easy to think about what I want to pen down, but the very act, leaves me lost for words. This is going to be one mammoth task to express myself, but nonetheless, here goes…

My life was never a smooth ride for me; it is probably the same with many. However, for every individual I guess, their problems seem to be the most anyone can handle. Tragedy struck my life at a very early age. One wrong decision can ruin many lives; something I learnt at an early age. In the latter part of my life I understood the significant role that my mother played in my life. I used to take her for granted many a time. In fact, when she was strict and I thought she was being cruel to me. I still feel guilty for having such feelings.

                             All the achievements in my life are because of her. I give her complete credit for my upbringing. She sacrificed a lot in the process, which I’m sure every mother does. However, when a married woman goes through domestic violence by her in-laws and even her husband on the second day of marriage, I cannot even begin to imagine how painful it is. Hence if given a chance, I would like to change her past. As shown in the movie ‘Action Replay’, a young man tries to revive his parents’ wilting marriage in a unique manner – travel to the 1970s when their romance was budding and make it bloom with the help of a time machine. Though the movie was a big time flop, I liked the concept. I would have stopped their (my parents) meeting each other as depicted in Amarkantak. I realize that in the process I would not exist but I am okay with the very idea. Well, this is simply wishful thinking, a very complicated idea, which will never happen. So, I would like to look at some options to make her life more meaningful.

                                          I want her to be positive towards life and make a few changes in them. She should allow the changes to happen but she is unwilling to go down that path. She is still leading her life recollecting the mistakes of her past. If I could, I would like her to be in love with me and life exactly like Sourav’s blog says. I would like to show her beautiful places in India like Shirdi Mandir, Tirupati Balaji, Amarnath and many more; I would like her to continue her education and fulfill her dream of becoming a lawyer. If I could, I would like to find her soul-mate and see her getting married. She has the right to live happily as long as she is alive. That person should provide all the happiness she is destined for. 

To make my thoughts more clear, ending it with a lovely song of Celine Dion

If I could, I’d protect you

From the sadness in your eyes

Give you courage in a world of compromise

Yes, I would

Bliss!


Beauty is truth’s smile
when she beholds her own face in a perfect mirror.

Beauty is in the ideal of perfect harmony
which is in the universal being;
truth the perfect comprehension of the universal mind.

                                     ——- Rabindranath Tagore

The entire concept of real beauty can be hard to define, despite being a well-known term. Everyone has their own opinions about what constitutes real beauty. One way to think about it is to consider what makes you smile in such a radiant way that it attracts people to want to be in your presence. Ideal beauty is that which is admired or possesses features widely attributed to beauty in a particular culture for perfection.

Just like Audrey Hepburn’s iconic quote:

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.

There would be hardly any person who would not like to look beautiful. Over a period of time beauty slowly fades away owing to age and what’s left are signs of aging. To combat these signs, people use numerous methods like anti-aging creams, Botox, among others. They seek to keep their beauty (which they believe is physical) intact for as long as possible. This is how they fool themselves into believing that they are a thing of beauty. They earn to be dazzling and remain the centre of attraction.

                    Fair complexion, sharp features are not the only criteria for being beauteous. These are external factors. External beauty is like water bubble, exists only for some time. Apart from the face hidden behind those layers of makeup, there is a heart; sublime, full of love and connected to your mind.That is real contentment. You need to make yourself comely to experience the real beauty.

Helen Keller said, “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.”  Every single character existing on the earth is born beautiful. Moral qualities, ethical standards, principles are added advantage to real beauty. Intellect and intelligence with beauty is a rare quality. And when someone has internal and external beauty it is ‘icing on the cake’. Beauty and youth are often regarded as synonymous to each other. Balance of body and soul is much important than using a wrinkle removing cream.

                                                                Let me run ideas through my mind and see where it takes me. Let’s consider good-looking people, places, objects, amazing scenario’s at a gallery, perceptional different angled photograph or let’s drill down to a more materialistic living like the breathtaking architecture of my bungalow,  with a balcony over-looking a serene swimming  pool. I have mouth-watering food sitting on a table beside me, sending out the most heavenly aroma that is tantalizing to the mind, and tickling my taste buds.

I could go on with more description but it would be painfully mundane to read, which is why I’ll leave it as “blah blah blah.”

Having seen life under best circumstances with best resources (mom//dad/bro/friends/teacher/ money ………….. & what not) with best living conditions & then having fallen away & apart with these things temporarily, to get it back in a new format & living terms, I realize that Beauty is a very relative terminology, quite misunderstood & I dare say, quite misapplied too.

So then what’s real beauty for me?

I think & believe that the real beauty is to realize that I am able to realize, think, analyze, decimate, disintegrate, learn – unlearn, believe & still redefine my belief system or call it fine tune.

The real beauty therefore is that I am a human, which is the gift of nature, and I am able to realize that there is GOD in many forms & functions, many of his manifestation are even called bad & I am mutely looking at it to understand what nature is telling me.

And the real beauty based on the above idea for me is knowledge; the assimilation of different pieces of information, when put in a logical manner is invaluable knowledge.

Knowledge alone is real beauty.

Having said this, I want to say that if I place a book of esoteric knowledge of yore & some fine prints of wisdom on a donkey’s head he does not become knowledgeable. What will make him knowledgeable is the right application of that knowledge in the right place, in the right measure, at the right time, and how does one get it apart nature’s Grace? One gets it through the guru – the proverbial teacher.

Hence the Guru or the teacher is the real beauty

The teacher, who gave me understanding and perception, of what is what & how to see it. If not for the right teacher, I could still think that 2 + 2 = 5 and still live like a donkey without realizing the 2 = 2 of life.

And who gave me the teacher? That’s a blind answer – my DAD. He put me through education both formal & informal & while giving me this he gave me as a bonus a bunch of friends from school to college, which I would filter over a period of time through experience & maturity.

Hence father is the real beauty.

And who gave me my father? My mom pointed him out, because she is the only human who actually knows the truth of whose seed made me. We all know the mom’s journey of parenting. Let me not make it emotionally touchy & elaborate on it, we all know what our mom’s are. Period.

Hence my mother is real beauty.

Now tell me how do I get a good mom, I can’t make a choice, actually no one took my permission to give me this birth – absolutely choiceless.

So the real beauty is the fact that I realize that there is someone up there taking care of my soul.

Mata, pita, guru, good mitra (Friend) & god are the real beauty – put them all & mix it – it’s god’s grace.

I realize that I am a unique creation of this nature, none like me & second to none, no one has ever been created like me in eons that have passed by in this universe & there never will be one like me in the future of this universe. I am me, I am a blessing of my parents, I am the good wishes of my well wisher’s, I am the hope of all those new tomorrow’s that will unfold through me, I am the child of gratitude, the mother of all virtue’s – I am Rewa and the real beauty is I can realize it.  

For me Miss Universe Sushmita Sen, Miss World Aishwarya Bachchan are equally beautiful to Maharani Gayatri Devi, Mother Teresa, Medha Patkar, Kiran Bedi, Lata Mangeshkar or a rural women working in the field all day yet efficiently takes care of her small world. Beauty is so divine that it inspired Kalidas to write Meghdoot and Tulsidas to create Ramayan.  


Summary is God’s ever beautiful creation is WOMAN who nurtures and creates a new life.


Satyam Shivam Sundaram – Truth is God and God is beautiful 🙂


PS – This article is a part of the IndiBlogger and Yahoo! India – Dove contest “What does real beauty mean to you?”

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Killing of seals

Whats comes in our mind after looking at these picture?

Such an innocent animal is killed so brutally. How is it possible for someone? Its only possible when the man who is doing this doesn’t have a heart.Its the largest marine animal hunt in the world. Their skulls are crushed with heavy club called hakapik as shown in the figure.Thousands of wounded pups manage to escape but later on they die due to the injuries on their body and pups younger than 5 weeks cannot swim.

But the question arises why are they hunted?

Their pelts are exported to many countries to make expensive designer coats and accessories. Many companies like GUCCI, PRADA, VERSACE are the vendors of these products.

Since the 1990s, after an intense protest and outrage by animal rights and many national and international government institutions, it resulted in arrest of hunters by Canadian authorities.Many celebrities like Bridget Bardot, Martin Sheen, and Paul McCartney supported in this involvement.

How can you help?

Join the boycott of Canadian seafood sponsored by the HSUS.

Write to GUCCI, PRADA and VERSACE and express your opinions of their coats and accessories made of harp seals.

Study when others are sleeping. Work when others are roaming. Prepare when others are wasting their time and see dreams when others are thinking of seeing it—- William Edward.

Study as much as you can, not read this question?this question would surely come in paper”. These are common statements during examination. Hence kids feel like mugging up each and every book.






Just one more question!!

Kids are always in tension to learn each and every part of book.And during this period parents are their best partner. From study preparations till their eating habits, you have an important role. Here are some important points to help your child in best possible manner:

Understand their needs:

Talk to your children and ask what sort of help they need from you? Analize yourself to know whether you can tech your kid or can just prepare timetable. Incase your child does not need your help for such things so help him/her by making amazing food and provide a peaceful environment for studies.

Don’t Disturb:

Never irritate your child by asking unnecessary questions.Let your child know that incase they need anything, they can call you. And if you feel that the kids may engage themself so much in studies that would not ask for anything- keep some eatable near them.

Some rules/regulations for parents:

Apart from your child appearing for exams even you need to make some changes. Hence during examination no movies, no kitty party, no friends visiting your place and daily soaps.It’s a matter for few days. Once exams are finished watch TV as much as you want.

Ask them, not comment:

Never use any such statement that makes them feel bad.Explain them, instead of commenting. This way you can help them from mental depression.


Where to study?

This is an important question during examination. Along with peace, friendly environment is needed. Remember these points while selecting study corner/place:

Silent place:

Keep your study table at such a place where least sound enters. Near by if there is a window-its the best.

Aim-Only study:

Study table should be away from noice of TV and Guest. Kids can only think of study at this place.

Encourage yourself:

Keep stuff near your study table which encourages you and you get some inspiration. Encouraging quatations are best examples.

Eat well:

Good morning of your child:

Breakfast should be balanced, nutritive and has protiens.Lunch as per their choice but dinner-light and digestive.

Memory:

To increase their physical and mental level, vitamins, minerals and protiens are necessary.Milk, soyabean, cereals, sprouts and dry fruits are the best source.Normally, everyday a child should have 2 grams of protein as per their weight.If the weight of a child is 30 kgs, so giving 60 grams of protein is perfect. Accurate level of protein keeps the body active.Avoid junk food, bread, cold drink, chips, noodles and too oily snacks. Instead opt for fresh juice, fruits or home made light snacks. Skip tea/coffee and have lemon juice or coconut water. Orange juice is best for students studying till late.It increases Zinc level and energizes the body.

Important tip:

Whenever you are tired of studies and feel like relaxing, instead of watching TV or sitting in front of computer go for some light exercise, yoga or a walk in fresh air. This way you would be relaxed and have energy for further studies.These restrictions are only for few days hence don’t say “NO” to it.

Exams-Part of life

In our society, exams of 10th and 12th is considered bigger than life instead of taking it as a part of life. Hence students get fearful for examination. Increasing level to this fear is called FOBIA. There is always a pressure to excellent student and average student to maintain their level of studies due to which they have to go through EXAM FOBIA. Due to the revised pattern of CBSE there are some positive vibes among students. Every students bears the pressure of exams but some are not able to handle it and hence face EXAM FOBIA.

EXAM FOBIA:

High level of fear for any thing is called FOBIA. Bit of fear for exams is normal but if this fear increases then it turn out to be FOBIA. Due to FOBIA students tend to think negative. Parents and teachers play an important role in saving them from this fever. Prepare your kids according to their level. Sopprt the mas much as possible. Parents support and encouragment helps kids to enhance themselves a lot and they can prepare for exams in the best way. Regular studies and confidence make them face the exams pressure and they perform well.
Symptoms of Exam Fobia:

  • Negative thinking- Students feel nothing is going to improve.
  • Thought- 24/7 they can only think of exams.
  • Studies- Less concentration
  • Headache, vomit and feverish complaint.

Protection:

  • Parents should take care of their regular studies.
  • Concentrate on the problems faced by your child. Solve their issues.
  • Let them take brake during studies.
  • Build their confidence.

Options:

  • Students should alot time to studies according to their interest and need.
  • Regular breaks during studies.
  • Spare time for entertainment.
  • Proper diet during exams.
  • Physical activities, sports, and meditation helps a lot.
  • Instead of revising the complete chapter a day before exams, just revise the points.
  • Read the question paper with peace of mind. Finish the known answers first.
  • Studies are very important for better performance.

FORMULA FOR SUCCESS:

Regular studies + Reading book + Confidence = Success.

General FAQ related to exams:

Q 1. Even after studying feels like I have forgot everything?

Ans: Whatever has been learnt, revise it by writing it. Writing helps a lot to remember everything learnt. While writing don’t be in a hurry but write it in clear letters. Wherever you face problem, learn it again. This way you will remember everything.

Q 2. Feels sleepy as soon as I sit for studies?

Ans: During exams becasue of tension there is always a pressure in mind and hence you feel sleepy. To avoid it, have proper sleep of 8hrs. If really tired and want to sleep, keep an alarm of 15 minutes and go for a sleep. You will feel refreshed.

Q 3. How to learn maths formulae?

Ans: To learn formulae of maths write them on a chart paper with bright sketch pen and paste it near study table. Keep an aim to learn some of them on a daily basis. Those which cannot be learnt, write them. This way you can write formulae of other subject as well.
Q 4. How can I prepare for my exams?

Ans: a) Manage your time effectively
– Make a things-to-do list. Also keep a note pad where you keep adding to the list as and when it occurs to your mind to keep you from the anxiety of forgetting it.
– Prioritize it.
– Make a time-table for a daily routine in accordance to your examination schedule.
– Give your body minimum required rest to keep you effectively involved in the following day’s activities.
– Say ‘NO’ to priority stealers like talking to friends, computer-gaming, aimless surfing on TV/computers, negative thoughts (e.g. past failure, fear, unpleasant experiences), daydreaming, etc.

b) Have an early dinner

– It helps if you wake up fresh and early. If you feel hungry late in the night, take light snacks like banana, a glass of milk, etc. Avoid greasy, spicy or stimulating food just before going to bed, for a sound sleep.

c) Take short breaks

Do take short breaks right where you are when your head gets saturated with overloading of study material and has trouble focusing on the learning.
– Get some fresh air.
– Take a walk for a couple of minutes around the area where you are studying and stretch your limbs before you settle again to study.
– Deep breathing can calm you in case of anxiety.
– Neck/Shoulder rolls have great easing effect. Roll your head in circle several times or shoulders in a circular motion.
– A quick shower can refresh you up for active study.

d) Manage your emotions effectively

Don’t let your mood and personal problems prevent you from completing your work. Ask yourself whether it is worth worrying now. You can choose to stay calm and ignore it. If it cannot be ignored or is an emergency, take help of your parents and friends.
Q 5. How do I maintain my concentration?

Ans: If you have a problem with concentration, write a timetable. Don’t try to study for longer than 45 to 60 minutes at a stretch. You can improve your timing by starting with short period of study, then adding an extra few minutes to each session. Stop work after a reasonable number of hours (five, six etc.) and then go and do something totally different in the evenings to restore your equilibrium, including taking exercise and eating proper food in good company where you have the opportunity to laugh.

Q 6. Why should I do revision before examination?

Ans: Revision is not about memorising facts but trying to understand your subject well enough to demonstrate familiarity with its big themes regardless of a specific question. If you only mug up three to five answers, you will be stumped if not enough of them come in your exams. You also probably know a lot more than you imagine. It would be a good idea to do a couple of sample papers by yourself under real conditions and then direct your revision to your weaker topics.

Q 7. How should I revise?

Ans: 1) Make a time-table in accordance to your examination schedule. 

2) Try to arrange peaceful, quiet, and a comfortable place to revise, where you can work without being disturbed. If you study in a room where you also eat or sleep, try to keep the work area separate, so it’s not always bothering you when you’re not studying.

3) Experiment with several alternative revision techniques so that revision is more fun and your motivation to study is high. These might include making notes from text books, writing quick summaries of topics (in the form of mind maps perhaps), reciting facts out aloud, learning dates, formulae or vocabulary by heart.

4) Switching between methods helps you hold your interest and absorb information better. Mix dull subjects with more interesting ones, for the same reason. If it is difficult to get started, begin with something easy.

5) Actively think about, sift and question what you are writing and reading, and test yourself afterwards. Writing endless notes, mindlessly, is probably a waste of time. If you come to something you don’t understand, try reading about it somewhere else.

6) Practice timed exam questions and papers. This can give you some idea of what the real exam will be like, and of how to divide your time between questions. Although exam papers are never the same, they are similar enough to be useful.

7) As soon as you notice your mind is losing concentration, take a short break. You will then come back to your revision refreshed.
Q 8. How can I calm myself down?

Ans: Firstly, stop thinking of the exams as the day of your execution. See them instead as part of a chain of events that includes the reasonably happy life you are enjoying now and the very happy life you will have after they are finished.

Secondly, practice a 60-second relaxation exercise to use on the day of your exam. Close your eyes drop your shoulders and listen to the sound of your own breathing. Do nothing for one full minute but count your breaths in and out, screening off the noise around you and breathing slowly into your belly. Say to yourself ‘1001, 1002, 1003’ (to count the in-breaths) and ‘1004, 1005, 1006’ (for the out). Then pause for ‘1007’ before you start to in-breathe again. Regularising your breathing stops you from dumping Co2 from your system, which otherwise triggers panic in the brain.

Q 9. How do I minimise exam stress?

Ans: a) Be Prepared: The most important technique is to be well prepared. Start preparing well in advance. Regular self study, solving sample paper given at the end if your study materials, answering Intext Questions, mock examinations etc., are great ways to be well organised and prepared.

b) Be healthy: Maintaining good health also helps in effectively dealing with stress. Do cut down on fatty meats, dairy products; sweets and salt. Eat more fruits, vegetables, poultry and fish as they have a calming effect on a stressed person. Eat healthy and regularly; remember that your brain will benefit from the nutrients.

c) Be relaxed: Meditation and/or yoga are a good way of relaxing the mind. They will help to keep you feeling calm and balanced, improve your concentration levels and help you to sleep better. Meditation is ideal when you wake up in the morning or as the last thing before going to bed. Focused meditation for 15 – 20 minutes is adequate.

d) Be fit: Regular exercise can help you to relieve stress. Activities such as moderate walking can relax your body, boost your energy, clear your mind and reduce any feelings of stress.

e) Be informed: Don’t drink too much of stimulating drinks like coffee and tea. The caffeine in these drinks will make your thinking less clear.

TIP:

BHAJSAB
– Name of all mughal rulers
B – Babur
H – Humayun
A – Akbar
J – Jahangir
S – Shahjahan
A – Aurangzeb
B – Bahadurshah Zafar